AM returns: A butt plug for the god shaped hole.
In his new book, Religion for Atheists, he does rather bait the learned dons of UK PLC’s very profitable humanities degree supply industry. He says their lectures are boring and unmemorable and they shirk the opportunity of teaching really useful moral and emotional lessons to their customers.
I, on the other hand, as a Living God never hesitate to pass down vital life instructions such as; turning up on time is more important than a first class degree, don’t ride a bicycle while wearing headphones, just because you enjoy consuming culture does not mean you will enjoy making it and heterosexual men should never, ever dye their hair after the age of thirty.
I of course am greatly qualified to hand on such pearls being a fully signed up life member of the pantheon (see British Museum and also M&S carrier bag illustrated above). In my own small way I’m like the little Dutch boy, I have tried to plug a hole. In my case it is the god shaped hole that I sense in the Great British Public. I want to save them from spending time and money on jerry-built belief systems like those practised by participants on Deal or no Deal.
Life is full of frightening unknowns and mortal dangers and humans have an unsurpassed ability for making up stuff to make them feel better. I on the other hand have made it my life’s work to help you into a bullshit free zone where Oscar nominated films have to do more than flatter the film buff’s knowledge of cinema history to be called a masterpiece and sports events than need judges to decide the winner are taken out of the Olympics.
Mr A de Botton may have been ‘inspired’ to write his book by the rise of my cult of doubt, he may like massages and Lacan, he may even like modern architecture but I say let us forgive him these foibles for I feel he is on the right track. With my help he could avoid the clutches of the Notting Hill spirituals, the uptight designer perfectionists or therapists with cat basket hair. He has potential.
AM
