From the keyboard of the bodyguard and private secretary to our Beloved and Benign Dictator his Divine Excellency Alan Measles T.E.D.
Word up! prisoners of the flesh
Phew what a scorcher. My bodyguard Grayson is looking a bit frazzled. He’s been road testing my pope-mobile the AM1 around the new forest. He says it rides like a dream but as far as I know most of his dreams are full of panic, anxiety and feeling precarious. Riding into towns he says feels like being a one man parade. The AM1 got a touch over-heated on the A27 Friday in the 35 degree weather and he had to pull into a lay-by wreathed in oil smoke. He was not a happy bunny. Yer see he has this terrible affliction, the curse of the imagination, mixed with a dangerously heavy dose of optimism. Bless him, it’s what gets the G-ster through the day but it can lead to some terrific disappointments. The builders did warn him that custom bikes do not have the might of the Honda R and D dept behind them and ‘issues’ will need addressing. Anyway even the ignominy of ‘teething troubles’ did nothing to take away from the fact that my personal transport looks, well, the business. A sweet Japanese couple driving the opposite way on the motorway turned off at the next exit and came back to have a closer look. This confirms our affection and respect for Japan and its culture. Good Taste Japanese fellas! After a wipe down and a tweek the AM1 made it to base camp.
Gray’s wife, Phil, says Toy Story 3 has heavy echoes of my own mythical birth narrative. We will have to check it out. Hankies at the ready! Which makes me think their must be loads of toys (it’s what I am, but don’t you EVER use the word ‘toy’ around me or I’ll call down the equalities commission on you like a ton of bricks from the wailing wall) out there that have had to stand in for absent fathers. We should get together some day but not in a boring earnest way more of a celebration. Save yer blubbing for yer shrink.
Quote of the week comes from China. ‘Man stands a long time with mouth open before roast duck flies in’.
Chill
AM
