We are the universe-vomit
We are the universe-vomit.
As a subjective manifestation of mankind’s desire for moral and aesthetic guidance I have an ambiguous relationship with mother science. I am by nature inclined to poo-poo rival belief systems but us gods have to stick together when faced with attacks from joyless logic junkies like Dawkins and co.
For instance we have the national census coming up this year and there is a box to tick marked religious belief. Now my children, is the time to put your tick where your heart is and declare yourself a disciple of A-L-A-N-M-E-A-S-L-E-S. Don’t fudge about with some woolly-minded atheist or agnostic cop out. Jedi by the way is MADE UP!
Science gets way too much air time these days, it is as if the Government wanted to wanted to eradicate superstition and at the same time get the young people interested in the dullsville material world. Culprit in chief is that goofy, blissed-out, one-man awe manufacturing plant Prof Brian Cox. He has made the ‘journey’ from novel well-preserved nerd to ubiquitous Blue Peter style irritant in double quick time. If I see another helicopter shot of him on the rim of an ‘amazing natural wonder’ in his Top Man copy Belstaff jacket I shall call in a good old testament devil to push him off the edge into the boiling brimstone just so Coxy vaporises knowing him and his ‘science’ are wrong, wrong, wrong.
Grayson my deluded sidekick has a soft spot for Cox, the boy band Patrick Moore. Gray though is studying hard the ways of the pop doc presenter, as I have set him the task of making a telly programme so to increase his ability to spread the word of yours truly. He is terrified of falling into the many traps that await the vain ‘expert’ enthusing to camera. How to avoid the windswept squint into the sunset over a stone circle as channelled by Neil-the-new-age-fancy-piece-Oliver, or how to ensure that he does not make a piece to camera on the Millennium Bridge in London, as you are bound to get another pop doc presenter in the background doing exactly the same thing.
My man Gray is relieved that he said no to teaching art on Jamie Oliver’s dream school that started last week. People would have found out that the hard won curmudgeonly old git image was an act and Grayson was secretly, sweetly, whisper it, down with the kids. Euw.
AM
